Monologues
Part of the audition will consist
of a short monologue. You can find a monologue on
your own from any source you like: plays, movies, tv
shows, etc. You are also welcome to browse and use
one of the monologues below.
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copy and paste the text into a separate document if
that makes reading and printing it easier.
101 Dalmatians: Cruella De Vil
You beasts! But I'm
not beaten yet. You've won the battle, but I'm
about to win the wardrobe. My spotty puppy coat is
in plain sight and leaving tracks. In a moment I'll
have what I came for, while all of you will end up
as sausage meat, alone on some sad, plastic plate.
Dead and medium red. No friends, no family, no
pulse. Just slapped between two buns, smothered in
onions, with fries on the side. Cruella De Vil has
the last laugh!
Antz: Zee
All my life I've
lived and worked in the big city, which now that I
think of it, is a problem since I always feel
uncomfortable around crowds. I mean it I have this
fear of enclosed spaces, everything makes me feel
trapped all the time. You know I always tell myself
there's got to be something better out there, but
maybe I think to much. I think everything must go
back to the fact that I had a very anxious
childhood, you know my mother never had time for
me. You know when your a middle child in a family
of five million, you don't get any attention, I
mean how's it possible? And my job, don't get me
started on, cause it really annoys me, I was not
cut out to be a worker, I'll tell you right now, I
feel physically inadequate, I, I, my whole life
I've never been able to lift ten times my own body
weight and when you get down to it, handling dirt
is..... eeww, you know is not my idea of a
rewarding career. I know I'm supposed to do
everything for the colony, but what about my needs,
what about me? The whole system out there just
makes me feel... Insignificant!
Aladdin: Genie
Aaaaahhhhh! OY!
Ten-thousand years will give ya such a crick in the
neck! Whoa! Does it feel good to be outta there!
Nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen. Hi, where ya
from? What's your name? Aladdin! Hello, Aladdin.
Nice to have you on the show. Can we call you 'Al?'
Or maybe just 'Din?' Or howbout 'Laddi?' Sounds
like "Here, boy! C'mon, Laddi!" Say, you're a lot
smaller than my last master. Either that or I'm
gettin' bigger. That's right, you're my master!
What would you wish of me, the ever impressive, the
long contained, often imitated, but never
duplicated.... duplicated, duplicated, duplicated,
duplicated, duplicated – Genie! Of! The Lamp! Thank
youuuuu! You get three wishes to be exact. And
ix-nay on the wishing for more wishes.
Back to the Future: Doc Brown
Let me show you how
it works. First, you turn the time circuits on.
This readout tells you where you're going, this one
tells you where you are, this one tells you where
you were. You input the destination time on this
keypad. Say, you wanna see the signing of the
declaration of independence. Here's a red-letter
date in the history of science -- November 5, 1955.
Yes, of course, November 5, 1955...That was the day
I invented time travel. I remember it vividly. I
was standing on the edge of my toilet hanging a
clock, the porcelain was wet, I slipped, hit my
head on the edge of the sink. And when I came to I
had a revelation, a VISION, a picture in my head, a
picture of this. This is what makes time travel
possible. The flux capacitor...It's taken me almost
thirty years and my entire family fortune to
realize the vision of that day, my goodness has it
been that long. Things have certainly changed
around here.
Charlie & The Chocolate Factory: Slugworth
I congratulate you,
little boy. Well done. You found the fifth Golden
Ticket. May I introduce myself. Arthur Slugworth,
President of Slugworth Chocolates, Incorporated.
Now listen carefully because I'm going to make you
very rich indeed. Mr. Wonka is at this moment
working on a fantastic invention: the Everlasting
Gobstopper. If he succeeds, he'll ruin me. So all I
want you to do is to get hold of just one
Everlasting Gobstopper and bring it to me so that I
can find the secret formula. Your reward will be
ten thousand of these. (he flips through a stack of
money) Think it over, will you. A new house for
your family, and good food and comfort for the rest
of their lives. And don't forget the name:
Everlasting Gobstopper.
Clueless: Cher
Everything I think
and everything And now Josh hates me. It all boils
down to one inevitable conclusion, I am just
totally clueless... Oh and this whole Josh and Ty
thing is wiggin' me more than anything. I mean,
what is my problem? Ty is my pal, I don't begrudge
her a boyfriend. What does she want with Josh
anyway? He dresses funny, he listens to complaint
rock, he's not even cute in a conventional way... I
mean, he's just like this slug that hangs around
the house all the time! Ugh! And he's a hideous
dancer, couldn't take him anywhere. Wait a second,
what am I stressing about, this is like, Josh. What
would he want with Ty, she couldn't make him happy,
Josh needs someone with imagination, someone to
take care of him, someone to laugh at his jokes in
case he ever makes any...the suddenly… Oh my gosh!
I love Josh! I'm majorly, totally, crazy in love
with Josh!
Collected Stories: Lisa
I’m really, really
sorry. I was only trying to….I’ll put everything
back the way it was…Well…good night professor.
Sorry for any inconvenience…No! I don’t want a
check! You don’t get it, do you? You know? I want
so much to please you. You know? And no matter what
I do, it’s wrong. I always seem to get your
disapproval when it’s the opposite I want so badly.
All these months, ever since school started, it’s
been both wonderful and excruciating working for
you. I mean, to be so close to you, when I admire
you so much….But everyday I see you it’s like a
test: What faux pas will I make? What will I do
that will annoy her today? There is always
something. Some invisible line I’ve crossed. Or, or
something I’ve bungled out of sheer panic. You
intimidate me so much. When I show you something
I’ve written, or even when I talk to you I think,
what value could my words possibly have to her?
You’re so….I mean, I knew you were difficult – you
told me as much. But you really seem to take pride
in being difficult, though, and that I don’t
understand. I’ve said too much. Look, maybe I’m
just not cut out for this, you know? Maybe I’m not.
My skin’s not thick enough. Oh, well…I’m sorry I
touched your things. I thought you would appreciate
it; I’m sorry. If you’re hungry, there’s dinner in
the fridge.
Duck Soup: President Rufus T. Firefly
I'd be unworthy of
the high trust that's been placed in me if I didn't
do everything in my power to keep our beloved
Freedonia in peace with the world. I'd be only too
happy to meet with Ambassador Trentino, and offer
him on behalf of my country the right hand of good
fellowship. And I feel sure he will accept this
gesture in the spirit of which it is offered. But
suppose he doesn't. A fine thing that'll be. I hold
out my hand and he refuses to accept. That'll add a
lot to my prestige, won't it? Me, the head of a
country, snubbed by a forgein ambassador. Who does
he think he is, that he can come here, and make a
sap of me in front of all my people? Think of it -
I hold out my hand and that hyena refuses to
accept. Why, the cheap ball-pushing swine, he'll
never get away with it I tell you, he'll never get
away with it!
Ferris Bueller's Day Off: Ferris Bueller
The key to faking out
the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good
non-specific symptom. A lot of people will tell you
that a phony fever is a dead lock, but if you get a
nervous mother, you could land in the doctor's
office. That's worse than school. What you do is,
you fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent
over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms.
It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is
high school. I did have a test today. It's on
European socialism. I mean, really, what's the
point? I'm not European, I don't plan on being
European, so who cares if they're socialist? They
could be fascist anarchists - that still wouldn't
change the fact that I don't own a car. Not that I
condone fascism, or any ism for that matter. Isms
in my opinion are not good. A person should not
believe in an ism - he should believe in himself. I
quote John Lennon "I don't believe in Beatles - I
just believe in me." A good point there. Of course,
he was the Walrus. I could be the Walrus - I'd
still have to bum rides off of people.
Finding Nemo: Dory
No. No, you can't.
...STOP! Please don't go away. Please? No one's
ever stuck with me for so long before. And if you
leave...if you leave... I just, I remember things
better with you! I do, look! P. Sherman,
forty-two...forty-two... I remember it, I do. It's
there, I know it is, because when I look at you, I
can feel it. And...and I look at you, and I...and
I'm home! Please...I don't want that to go away. I
don't want to forget.
Floating Rhoda and the Glue Man: Rhoda
I don’t want to fall
in love. I want to brace myself and prepare. I want
to look in both directions and see everything
that’s coming. I don’t want to make anything up. I
want to see exactly who the person is sans myth,
sans romance, sans illusion. I want to say right
from the start, well I like that about him, but
that disappoints me, can I live with that. I want
to say, oh look, ice cream makes him happy. That’s
what he wants. Ice cream. Ice cream does not lead
to class struggle. In fact he hates struggle. Ice
cream is comfort. He craves comfort. We are
different. We are not the same. I cannot make him
into who I want him to be. He craves comfort. I
long for struggle. This is not a match. He will not
grow into the match. I cannot educate him into the
match or force him or believe deep in my heart that
deep in his soul he is desperate to come my way.
That is fantasy. That is romance. That is falling.
I don’t want to fall.
Labyrinth: Sarah
What do you want? You
want a story? Okay. Once upon a time there was a
beautiful young girl whose stepmother always made
her stay home with the baby. And the baby was a
spoiled child, and he wanted everything for himself
and the young girl was practically a slave. But
what no one knew was that the King of the Goblins
had fallen in love with the girl and he had given
her certain powers. So one night, when the baby had
been particularly cruel to her, she called on the
goblins for help. "Say your right words," the
goblins said, "and we'll take the baby to the
Goblin City, and you will be free." But the girl
knew that the King of the Goblins would keep the
baby in his castle forever and ever and ever, and
turn him into a goblin. So the girl suffered in
silence. Until one night when she was tired from a
day of housework and she was hurt by the harsh
words of her stepmother, and she could no longer
stand it. Oh alright, alright! I'll say the words!
Goblin King, Goblin King, where ever you may be,
come take this child of mine far away from
me!
Say Anything: Lloyd
A career? I've
thought about this quite a bit sir and I would have
to say considering what's waiting out there for me,
I don't want to sell anything, buy anything or
process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell
anything bought or processed or buy anything sold
or processed or repair anything sold, bought or
processed as a career. I don’t want to do that. My
father's in the army. He wants me to join, but I
can't work for that corporation, so what I've been
doing lately is kick-boxing, which is a new
sport...as far as career longevity, I don’t really
know. I can’t figure it all out tonight, sir, so
I'm just gonna hang with your daughter.
Star Wars Episode IV: Princess Leia Organa
General Kenobi, years
ago you served my father in the Clone Wars. Now he
begs you to help him in his struggle against the
Empire. I regret that I am unable to present my
fathers request to you in person, but my ship has
fallen under attack and I am afraid that my mission
to bring you to Alderaan has failed. I have placed
information vital to the survival of the Rebellion
into the memory systems of this R2 unit. My father
will know how to retrive it. You must see this
droid saftly delivered to him on Alderaan. This is
our most desperate hour. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi.
You're my only hope.
The Muppet Movie: Kermit
Yeah, well, I've got
a dream too. But it's about singing and dancing and
making people happy. That's the kind of dream that
gets better the more people you share it with. And,
well, I've found a whole bunch of friends who have
the same dream. And, well, it kind of makes us like
a family. You have anyone like that, Hopper? I
mean, once you get all those restaurants, who are
you gonna share it with? Who are your friends, Doc?
Those guys? ...I don't think you're a bad man, Doc.
And I think if you look in your heart, you'll find
you really want to let me and my friends go to
follow our dream. But if that's not the kind of man
you are and if what I'm saying doesn't make any
sense to you, well, then, go ahead and kill
me.
The Princess Bride: Buttercup
I love you....I know
this must come as something of a surprise, since
all I've ever done is scorn you and degrade you and
taunt you, but I have loved you for several hours
now, and every second, more. I thought an
hour ago that I loved you more than any woman has
ever loved a man, but a half hour after that I knew
that what I felt before was nothing compared to
what I felt then. But ten minutes after that,
I understood that my previous love was
a puddle compared to the high seas before a
storm. Do you want me to follow you for the
rest of your days? I will do that. Do
you want me to crawl? I will crawl. I
will be quiet for you or sing for you. Dearest
Westley--I've never called you that before, have
I?--Westley, Westley, Westley, Westley,
Westley,--darling Westley, adored Westley, sweet
perfect Westley, whisper that I have a chance to
win your love.
The Princess Bride: Buttercup
The four ships were
never sent....Don't bother lying to me any
more....It doesn't matter whether you sent the
ships or not. Westley will come for me. Yes,
I am a silly girl and, yes again, I will go to my
room, and you are a coward with a heart filled with
nothing but fear....I'm getting much smarter as I
age. I say you are a coward and you are; I
think you hunt only to reassure yourself that you
are not what you are: the weakest thing to ever
walk the Earth. He will come for me and then
we will be gone, and you will be helpless for all
your hunting, because Westley and I are joined by
the bond of love and you cannot track that, not
with a thousand bloodhounds, and you cannot break
it, not with a thousand swords.
The Princess Bride: Westley
To the pain....To the
pain means this: if we duel and you win, death for
me. If we duel and I win, life for you.
But life on my terms....The first thing you
lose will be your feet....The left, then the right.
Below the ankle. Then your hands, at the
wrist. Next your nose. No smell of
dawn for you. Followed by your tongue.
Deeply cut away. Not even a stump left.
And then your left eye--....Your ears you
keep, so that every shriek of every child at seeing
your hideousness will be yours to cherish--every
babe that weeps in fear at your approach, every
woman that cries, 'Dear God, what is that thing?'
will reverberate forever within your perfect ears.
That is what 'to the pain' means. It
means that I leave you to live in anguish, in
humiliation, in freakish memory until you can stand
it no more; so there you have it, pig, there you
know, you miserable vomitous mass, and I say this
now, and live or die, it's up to you: Drop your
sword!
The Wizard of Oz: Dorothy
But it wasn't a
dream. It was a place. And you and you and
you...and you were there. But you couldn't have
been could you? No, Aunt Em, this was a real truly
live place and I remember some of it wasn't very
nice, but most of it was beautiful--but just the
same all I kept saying to everybody was "I want to
go home," and they sent me home! Doesn't anybody
believe me? But anyway, Toto, we're home! Home. And
this is my room, and you're all here and I'm not
going to leave here ever, ever again. Because I
love you all. And... Oh Auntie Em! There's no place
like home!
UHF: Stanley
Hey, hey, I wanna, I
wanna show you something, I wanna show you
something. This's my new mop. George, my friend, he
gave me this mop. It's a pretty good mop. It's not
as good as my first mop, I miss my first mop. But,
this is still a good mop. Sometimes you just hafta
take what life gives you. 'Cause life is like a
mop, and sometimes life gets full of dirt and crud
and bugs and hairballs and stuff. Well, you, you
gotta clean it out! You gotta put it in here and
rinse it off and start all over again. And
sometimes life sticks to the floor so bad that a
mop is not good enough, a mop isn't good enough.
You gotta get down there with a, with a toothbrush
ya know! You gotta scrub, you gotta get it all off,
you gotta really try to get it all off. And if that
doesn't work, you can't give up! You gotta stand
right up, run to the window and say: "Hey! The
floors are dirty as heck, and I'm not gonna take
this anymore!!"